25+ Hilarious Viral Tweets That Prove Women Are the Funniest People on Earth

We’ve all heard of the merit of self-care in recent years. In fact, we’ve heard of it so many times that it might start to feel like it has become completely meaningless. The truth is, though, that we all deserve to treat ourselves every now and then.

By that, though, we mean getting a mani-pedi or going out to coffee with your girlfriends. We definitely don’t mean becoming a part of dinner. But… now that Birdie Girl has mentioned it… Okay, fine! Let’s go soak in lasagna!

Despite many believing that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, we’re here to tell you that’s absolutely wrong. In fact, just like men, a woman’s best friend is an adorable puppy to cuddle! It’s even been proven by science.

That’s right; a study actually proved that when it comes to bed companions, women don’t want hunky men, they want husky dogs. So, we’re all for calling in a doggy call instead of a booty call the next time we’re feeling lonely.

The admittedly hilarious scene that this tweet describes is the perfect example of the fact that none of us “adults” have any idea what the heck we’re doing. Instead, our games of pretend from childhood just got better playgrounds and gadgets.

Honestly, we just want to know what those guys actually decided on. Plus, now we want to hear all about the strange people that work in @-chase___’s coworking space and their unhinged business meetings.

One never expects to be dragged into a world of secrets and intrigue first thing in the morning. But it looks like that’s exactly what happened to unassuming @LizHackett during her run to Starbucks.

She never thought her need for a grande pumpkin spice frappuccino would lead to her taking part in an international cover-up! Alas, that’s exactly what happened when she overheard this conversation. Her mission, should she choose to accept it…

After a long day at work, all we want is to shut our eyes for a few seconds and relax. So, it’s really no wonder that so many people catch a few Zs on their commute back home.

But, we absolutely agree with Marina that seeing people sleeping on the subway (but really, any transportation method) gives us a ton of second-hand anxiety for them. We just hope they wake up before their stop.

Ginny Hogan has really hit the nail on the head with this tweet. Seriously, ladies, look around at the men in your life: sure, they’re all that and a bag of chips. But look at them really. Then look at yourselves.

Now back to them… See what we mean? Can you honestly tell us that you don’t deserve to get at least as much as they do (if not way more) for all your hard work? We didn’t think so.

Laughter is the best medicine, right? Well… yeah, sure, let’s go with that. So, really, the best way to deal with untreated trauma is to laugh it off with a witty one-liner, yeah?

Wait, what do you mean by “no?” But what’s the point of trauma if it doesn’t make you funny? After all, the horrible things we’ve been through must have at least given us one positive thing!

Dating nowadays is quite an ordeal. For the most part, you don’t just organically meet people. Instead, you have to put time and effort into creating the perfect profile that manages to show all your best assets to possible suitors.

But, the truth is, looking back at those meticulously planned dating profiles is always a cringy experience. We don’t blame Ely for being quite shocked by her old profile pic. What’s surprising is that her husband was into this.

Okay, look, we know daily movement is good for you. We get that. But what’s with the running? Take us to a nice Zumba class, or get hooked on SoulCycle — but make us participate in walking’s horrible cousin? Yuck!

Mary brings up an excellent point — why in the world did our ancestors work so hard to claw up the food chain if not so that we’d be able to happily turn into couch potatoes? Be good apex predators and sit under the shade of some tree.

Oh, how our parents hated the amount of time we spent in front of a screen as kids (even before the age of the smartphone). “Back in our day, we would play all day outside” — Sure, Mom, whatever you say.

Clearly, they had no idea that, like @TheCheish’s mom, they too would benefit from all those hours that we spent glued to our shiny computers in the early 2000s. Seriously, though, we wish they had learned the computer with us so that we wouldn’t have to be their personal IT department.

We honestly think that the most horrifying realization we had shortly after moving out of our parents’ home for the first time was that we were somehow supposed to feed ourselves every day, at least three times a day.

The horror! What’s worse is that you’re supposed to cook at least most of it, instead of ordering, in case you ever want to actually save some money. We can’t imagine how much worse it’d be having to also feed little mouths as well as our own.

We truly think it’s adorable that Emma’s brother, the very soon-to-be father, actually thought that 96 diapers were going to last the young family nearly three months. Please, nobody tell him what’s really going to happen!

Let him learn on his own and be horrified by the truth! We only wish we could see the look on his face that first day he has to change a surprising amount of diapers, and then do the math.

As much as we might complain about them, we have to tell you the truth, little brothers are precious and should be hugged more often. Just look how wholesome and unintentionally funny Julia’s brother is.

Clearly, he’s done his research to make sure he fully understood the full scope of a woman’s emotions. While Julia might have truly been totally fine with not getting ice cream, we can wholeheartedly tell you we wouldn’t be.

Teen movies might make house parties look like the greatest thing since sliced bread, but the truth is, being a good host, even to a small group of friends, is a lot more responsibility than most teenagers realize.

Clearly, @kasal_finley raised a pretty great kid. Not only did he not go completely wild when he had the chance, but he also made sure everything looked spotless for his mom. Most importantly, he learned that he really wasn’t a party animal.

It truly amazes us how completely in the dark some men are when it comes to a woman’s body. Especially when it comes to men who are romantically involved with said women. Seriously, guys, go Google this stuff!

Yes, sweet Aunt Flo comes a-callin’ about every month. Yes, we hate it too. Yes, you should go out and buy us some ice cream and chocolate. Is that really so hard to learn on your own?

It’s honestly kind of amazing how so much of modern women’s humor is all about therapy. We’d ask if they’re okay, but obviously, none of us are. But, until we’re emotionally healed, at least we’ll laugh about it.

Obviously, it’s not enough that we be the subject of our own therapy (although our parents do tend to crop up quite a bit); we also have to be the subject of everybody else’s therapy. And who better to mess up than our kids?

When it comes to hair, we just have to admit, guys have it so dang easy! Wear it up or down, short or long, as long as it’s looking even semi-presentable, they’re going to be perfectly fine. Us ladies, though…

When it comes to our locks, we just have to put in so much effort! Brushing with the right tool, using the correct shampoo, and finding the perfect styling products. And even after all that, we still might be mistaken for a male guest on Thanksgiving. How is that fair?!

Parenting is no easy task. It’s all about balancing a fine line between strict and permissive, between being respected by your children and being feared. We think we know where @UhuAnya’s kids lean, and we absolutely love it!

The best part, of course, is the fact that she didn’t actually give them any reason to be worried here, except for her utter silence on the subject when she returned home. Given the fact that a caulk gun is essentially a glue gun, used to put furniture back together, Mom was just trying to solve the problem of the broken chair. You’ve got to appreciate the trolling level this mom has.

People exercise for a myriad of reasons. Some like that delicious release of endorphins. Others enjoy moving their bodies in new and interesting ways. But, let’s face it, most of us do it so we can fit into that old pair of jeans.

At the end of the day, though, there really is nothing wrong with finding motivation in something “shallow.” After all, what really matters is that we go and shake up our old bones, it really doesn’t matter why we do it.

Looks like this little prodigy has managed to learn one of life’s great mysteries at the very young age of two, which is — waking up is bad. On a slightly more serious note, though, there’s a lesson to be learned here.

Learning how to ask for help to get through the day (and through life) is no easy task. But it’s no shame to ask for that help when we need it, just like this wise little kid has shown us. So, next time, just let the world know, “Help, we woke up!”

The old saying might go that “no one likes a gossip,” but we have to admit, we absolutely love them! How else are we supposed to know what’s new in Brenda and Chad’s dramatic love life?!

When it’s your gossip being aired, though… and by your own mother, no less! Yeah, that’s not as great anymore. Although, it is pretty impressive to see how much more well-connected your mom is than you ever realized. Trust us, her social life is better than yours.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” they say. Or “beauty comes from within.” Oh, don’t give us those old platitudes. Let’s face it, while physical attractiveness might be subjective; we can all agree that some people are pretty, and some people just aren’t.

Thankfully, beauty really isn’t the most important thing in the world. So, if we look at all the other qualities that people possess, absolutely everyone is beautiful. But until then, we’re just going to ponder over Marcia’s tweet.

We’ve all been there — you started dating a guy you thought would be your one true love, only to find out he was a complete dud, but only after you’ve wasted precious time on him. Honestly, Dana’s service would be amazing.

This is one crowd-funded service we’d be happy to give to. If we could just give her one little suggestion? We’d call this amazing and revolutionary service “Loosers, Keepers.”

We all know that a humble haircut can have massive repercussions on our outward appearance — it can make or break our outfit and our self-confidence. That’s why we pay the big bucks to those fancy salons.

Unfortunately, just like the right cut can make you look your best self, a bad one can make you look 50 when you’re in your 20s, and no one wants that. Holly, we feel your pain and truly hope that you can get that mess fixed real soon.

Yes, there absolutely is a “super cute” to “couldn’t care less” pipeline when it comes to how you choose what to wear in the morning, and it directly correlates to your age. Your early 20s are full of adorable, well-thought-out ensembles.

As you near your 30s, comfort becomes key. Sure, you still look for that flattering fit, but if it doesn’t feel exactly right, it’s out. After that, thankfully, we just stop caring — which means we can wear whatever we want! Hurray!

Poetic language can be the most beautiful and romantic thing. Until you actually pay attention to the words and take them literally, that is. Because when you do, it all becomes absolutely ridiculous.

No, you don’t want to kiss our every worry away, we’re not a rose by any other name, and you definitely can’t swim in our eyes. Sure, it’s all very pretty, but just tell us we look amazing and leave it at that.

Being a parent is so passé — it’s officially the year of the aunt energy, and we’ll tell you why. You think blondes have all the fun? Well, you’re wrong, it’s aunts! They get to hang out with adorable kids as long as they want.

Then, as soon as they want some “me time,” they give them back! How perfect is that? Also, while kids are under auntie’s care, they can teach them all the things they know their siblings wouldn’t approve of. It’s their duty!

Being surrounded by the absurdity that is extreme diet culture, we’re constantly bombarded with information about this trick or that fad. Well, we say — no more! No more wasting an hour of our lives listening to celebs telling us what we should or shouldn’t eat!

Especially not from celebrities that we know for a fact aren’t dietitians or have any idea what they’re talking about. Look, we’ll be happy to take acting lessons from A-listers like Paltrow but leave the food talk to the actual pros.

When it comes to salad dressings, there’s no contest, that perfect blend of mayonnaise and chili (plus seasonings), is the ultimate thing to finish off our salads in style. But did you ever wonder where the name comes from? Fun fact, no islands died in the making of Thousand Islands dressing.

Sadly, the truth is a lot more boring. It’s just named after the region where it was invented — the upper St. Lawrence River between the US and Canada, where there are literally a thousand tiny islands (1,894, to be exact).

Finding a date for a Friday night is hard enough, so do you seriously mean to tell us that finding someone to spend the rest of your life with is even more work? How great would it be if someone else did all that work for you?

What if someone could, with the help of your information, find someone that’d work perfectly just for you? Seriously, can someone just create a service? Oh, wait… Matchmaking doesn’t really work either!!!

Perched with their nose up in their nest, the wild Karens scan the mall’s floor, looking for trouble, hunting for their preferred prey, the vulnerable teen shop worker. Once spotted, they make their way, the sound of their clogs swallowed by the hum of the environment.

Finally, exactly when the shop worker is busy helping three separate customers, the Karens pounce upon their unsuspecting prey with their loud and frightening calls of “I want to speak to the manager!” Isn’t nature fascinating?

Ah, the modern world! Of course, we love our technology, our comforts, and the fact that we can get everything we’re craving at a moment’s notice at the closest store. Everything’s just really convenient, isn’t it?

This is why it’s so inconvenient when our kids ask such difficult-to-answer questions. On the one hand, of course, we want to be truthful with them. On the other hand, this little truth is going to be a lot more than they bargained for.

Remember as a kid waking up the morning of your birthday, knowing that you were going to have an incredible day filled with friends and family, and, most importantly, tons and tons of presents that you precisely requested?

If only we still knew exactly what we wanted for our birthday! Seriously, even as grown-ups, we still love our birthdays (yes, even though it means we’re getting old). But we absolutely hate being asked what we want!

As a teen, the worst part of holiday dinners would be being stuck with the babies at the kids’ table. Oh, how we longed for the day we’d be moved to the big adult table, where everything seemed so grown up and interesting.

But, you know what we learned once we moved there? It really wasn’t as interesting as we thought it’d be. In fact, we’d much rather spend Thanksgiving chatting with our younger cousins, asking them who their favorite superhero is!

We might not like to admit it, but our choice of a romantic partner isn’t just about love. As unsavory as it might sound, choosing the right partner is very much a status symbol — after all, you can’t just bring anyone home to the parents.

So, yes, make sure you invest in a real, approved fiancé from the French Riviera (that means lots of European trips in your honeymoon future). Besides, a sparkling boyfriend just sounds like a certain angsty vampire who sparkles in the sun.

Remember the good old days when Mom would practically beg us to talk to her and let her know how our day has been? How fantastic was it when she’d be the one hoping for our attention?

Now that the tables have turned, all we want is for Mommy to pick up the phone and listen to all our problems. Can we please just get Mom’s attention for just five minutes? Since when is she so busy?!

You know what really grinds our gears? The fact that actually putting in the work and taking care of yourself actually does work! How seriously annoying and awful is that?

Alright, fine! You wore us down! We’ll do the stupid yoga, we’ll drink eight cups of stupid water, and avoid delicious fizzy drinks, and we’ll wash our face twice every day. Happy now?

You either find yourself dating Pete Davidson, or live long enough to have a baby with Nick Cannon, right? At least, that’s what it feels like when it comes to every eligible Hollywood leading lady.

Amazingly, we do know of one celeb who managed to almost hit both those goals — Kim Kardashian! That’s right, while Kim K’s relationship with Pete Davidson had made headlines in recent years, she also dated Nick Cannon way back in 2006.

Look, obviously, there’s nothing wrong with being introverted or extroverted, as long as it’s actually your personality that’s making you lean one way or the other, and not… well… some stupid guy!

Of course, Ginny Hogan is the one to perfectly sum up exactly how we feel whenever guys decide to blame us for them not being interesting and nice enough to talk to. We guess we’ll keep being described as “introverted” by guys.

Since the beginning of time, the oldest people in society were given a place of honor in the social order — that of wisened advisors to the youngsters, onto which they could impart their priceless knowledge accumulated over a lifetime.

How lucky is Colleen’s boyfriend, then, that he gets all her extra wisdom right away? This is one idea we’re definitely borrowing — from now on, anyone that’s even a day younger than us must hear all our ancient knowledge.

We can’t decide if this is an absolutely brilliant sales tactic or if it’s downright forgetful. Okay, yeah, most likely it just completely slipped her mind that @sixfootcandy has been to her before. Still, you’ve got to admire her guts.

Or, maybe, the nail lady is just so used to saying this to every single customer that it just kind of slipped out. Either way, it might just be time to find a new manicurist who can recognize her own handiwork.

Probably since the very first cave people domesticated wild animals, the debate about whether you’re a dog or a cat person has been raging on. It’s like we instinctively know that there’s a pretty big difference in personality between those who love canines and those who prefer felines.

But, whether you’re more into barks or like the sounds of meows better, the truly important lesson here is that rescuing a defenseless animal and bringing them home is always a good thing. We wonder, what does it say about those who like both?

Whether it’s Mariska Hargitay as the amazing Olivia Benson in Law & Order: SVU, Kate Beckett, played by Stana Katic, in the hilarious Castle, or any other stoic leading lady, we all know they’re the only reason we watch these silly cop shows.

There’s just something about emotionally unavailable, kick-butt-take-names women in power that makes us want to be just like them when we grow up. Can we please just get more shows and seasons with them?

Truthfully, we’ve all been there. For no logical reason, we all still feel a sting of shame wherever we’re reminded of blunders from the past. It’s illogical because we’re well aware that nobody else could possibly remember those awkward moments.

People have their own lives to worry about, time has passed, and we can absolutely guarantee that no one recalls the time you passed gas in seventh grade. Besides, it’s not as if no one else has their own embarrassing memories!

Don’t deny it — we all know you’re still using that old password you thought up way back in middle school when you needed an email address to get an account on Club Penguin or something like it.

So, if you’re still using PrincessSparklesTheGreat96 or OptimusPrimeRulz20 as your password for every single account (including your bank’s internet services), you might want to consider changing that ASAP.