30+ Parenting Double Standards That We’ve All Had Enough Of

You know that scene in every teen movie when the protagonist gets a makeover and walks through the halls of the school and everyone stares at them? The music is triumphant, they’re flipping their hair, and everyone is admiring them.

Yeah, that’s what it’s like when dads take their kids somewhere. You know that scene when the antagonist enters the room and everyone kind of looks over like, “What are they going to do wrong?” That’s what it’s like when moms take their kids somewhere.

Every aspect of getting pregnant and having a child is stigmatized against women and men tend to get off scot-free. It’s almost like people don’t realize that it takes two to have a child! Blaming a single mom for “choosing” a deadbeat dad is the same logic as blaming a woman who was harassed because of what she was wearing.

How about we start blaming men for being deadbeat dads, rather than blaming single moms for getting pregnant — as if they did that all on their own?

Sometimes, as a parent, you really just can’t do it all. It’s completely understandable if, after a long day at work, you find that you don’t have the energy to cook dinner so you want to order in.

When children say that dad ordered McDonald’s for dinner, people think it’s sweet that he gave the kids a fun treat. When moms do it? People are quick to remind her that fast food is unhealthy and she should really try to find the time to cook for her kids.

Parents do their kids’ hair, it’s really not that big of a deal! It seems like every few years, some dad goes viral on social media for doing his daughter’s hair. When has a mom gone viral for doing her child’s hair? Literally, never.

Why is it that when men do something traditionally feminine for their daughters, everyone loses their minds? Yet, when a mom learns about sports for her son, nobody even bats an eye over it.

This is just as offensive to dads as it is to moms. If a father has chosen to be a stay-at-home dad, then he obviously wants to be available for these kinds of situations.

Why do schools, doctors, and babysitters assume that fathers can’t handle an issue and so, mom needs to get involved? Let’s give dads a little more credit, especially if they’ve explicitly listed themselves as the emergency contact to call if there’s ever a problem.

Why is it that mothers are under constant scrutiny while fathers are seen as great dads for doing the exact same things? It’s even reached a point in which moms get criticized for “letting” dads mess up.

Seriously, check out what happened when Ryan Reynolds accidentally forgot to secure his baby in the baby carrier. Blake Lively was criticized for being there and not correcting him! We wish we were making this up but that’s truly how huge the double standard is.

Can we all just agree that it’s literally impossible to babysit one’s own kids? That’d be like if someone who works as a chef expected praise for making himself a sandwich while at home. Don’t get us wrong — it’s great when any parent spends quality time with their kid.

However, we shouldn’t act like dads are doing moms a favor by taking over parenting duties for a few hours. They’re being a partner and co-parent, which is exactly what they should be!

According to Evolutionary Psychological Science, men who are or show interest in becoming fathers are seen as significantly more attractive. However, the same can’t be said for men’s perception of women who are or want to be mothers.

Sure, there’s the whole concept of a MILF but the woman usually has to be exceptionally attractive in order to fall into that category. To be a DILF, though? You just have to be a dad.

No disrespect to men but their direct involvement in pregnancy ends after conception. Sure — they can (and should!) come to doctor appointments, help their baby mama feel comfortable, and provide emotional support.

However, we can probably all agree that the toll taken on a soon-to-be father’s body is nothing compared to what an expecting mother goes through. No, “we” aren’t pregnant. One person is pregnant and your job is to help her through it. You can get credit for moral support but not for going through pregnancy.

This is completely unfair to fathers as they also obviously need to be able to change their kids’ diapers. Why does society believe that for every father, there’s a mother? Not only that but a mother who’s able and willing to change the baby’s diaper every single time?

Let’s just put changing tables in all bathrooms, rather than making assumptions about people’s family structures. On another note, we have to give some serious kudos to this guy’s squatting abilities!

Dads are so often celebrated for just being fathers while moms are constantly made to feel like they’re not doing enough. It’s completely unfair to expect mothers to be able to be perfect employees, wives, parents, friends, and emotionally and physically maintained women… at all times.

Meanwhile, men are given a pat on the back for just showing up. It seems pretty insulting to men that the expectation of them is so low, doesn’t it?

While being a parent is a massive undertaking and does truly change every aspect of your life, it doesn’t replace your entire personhood. People seem to understand that when it comes to dads, and they allow for other aspects of men’s personalities.

However, when a woman becomes a mom, her motherhood is expected to become her entire persona. She was a whole person before she became a mom, so it makes sense that she’s still a whole person after she has kids.

Once again, we have a double standard that’s both insulting to dads and makes more work for moms. We’d also like to add to this by pointing out that there are a lot more support groups for mothers than there are for fathers.

Overall, it seems that society has a much easier time swallowing the idea of an involved mom than an involved dad. Meaning, that we all need to do better.

We really need to stop calling women “lucky” when their baby daddies take care of their kids. That’s what’s supposed to happen! “Lucky” is winning the lottery or getting through a whole day without hearing about a Kardashian — it’s not having another full-grown adult doing what they’re supposed to do.

That’s not to say that it isn’t appreciated but we need to put things into perspective. Especially when no one calls dads “lucky” for having baby mamas who take care of their children.

Fathers are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and their kids. After all, they got through life before they met their partners, didn’t they? As for taking care of children, there are single fathers who do it every day, so we’re sure that the OP’s husband can manage just fine.

If people are really that concerned about a parent dealing with kids on their own, why don’t they offer to help the OP when her husband’s away? If we were her hubby, we’d be incredibly insulted.

There’s only one difference between these two scenarios and that’s the gender of the parent using their phone. First of all, people shouldn’t be concerning themselves with how other parents raise their kids — assuming that the child isn’t in danger.

Secondly, even if you’re really a Karen and can’t help yourself, it may be worth asking yourself if you’d feel differently if someone else did that exact same behavior? If so, the question is, why?

No, a kid’s dad is not another child — he’s the father. This whole “good cop, bad cop” deal in parenting is an incredibly old cliche that the media has ingrained in us.

Pretty much every teen movie from the late ’90s and early 2000s portrays the dad as a fun but clueless dude and the mom as the strict one who keeps everything in order. We’re not sure why this cliché began but it most certainly needs to end!

Why does society pigeonhole women into the role of desperately trying to trap some man? Simultaneously, men are pigeonholed into the role of being unreliable and unable to commit. When, in reality, men’s and women’s desire for children is nearly equal.

According to surveys conducted by Match.com, 51% of men surveyed want children and 46% of the women surveyed want to have kids. Maybe the difference in the numbers is the sheer pressure women face once they become moms?

Being a step-parent is no easy task. On the one hand, you want to show love and affection for your step-kids. On the other hand, you don’t want to cross any lines and try to replace either of the children’s parents. That being said, that Goldilocks zone is a lot larger for step-dads than it is for step-moms.

Perhaps this is because of how the media routinely pits women against each other? People forget that, in real life, there’s always room for two strong women to share the same space.

This goes back to the (completely untrue) cliché that all women want kids and men never do. Why does everyone assume that the OP needed to talk her husband into having lots of children? Maybe he wanted a big family?

As for the nasty comments, what would those people prefer the OP do? Un-adopt the siblings she and her husband took in? Not go through with having the twins that were unexpected? Maybe people should just mind their own business and let this big, beautiful family live their lives?

When dads are out and about, without their kids, nobody bats an eye. However, when moms go somewhere without their children, without a diaper bag, and looking somewhat relaxed, everyone starts to worry about who’s taking care of the kids.

Once again, fathers are perfectly capable of looking after their children. Before anyone asks — no, it’s not “babysitting” when it’s their own kids nor are these dads “helping out.” They’re just being good parents, as they should.

Not only is some me-time understandable but it’s necessary! How can you be a good parent if you’re not practicing a bit of self-care? People seem to comprehend this when they see dads taking a moment for themselves. However, mom guilt is a very real thing and it’s mostly caused by societal pressures.

Ironically, people get upset when mothers take time for themselves to work out but they also judge mothers who don’t get back to their pre-pregnancy weight quickly. *Sigh* Sometimes, you just can’t win.

Don’t get it wrong — we’re glad that guy was there for his wife and we agree that he should be at those appointments. What’s throwing us off is that, with all due respect, his presence at the doctor’s office isn’t crucial.

As opposed to the OP, who has to be at those appointments or the exam simply can’t take place. If their boss is thinking about who absolutely must leave work and who can stay, then it doesn’t make sense that the OP was the one scolded.

We’ve all heard the saying “it takes a village” and there’s a reason that it’s such a common phrase. Yet, when moms need a bit of help with their kids, they’re often seen as incompetent and bad mothers.

However, when dads need some help, they’re seen as good fathers who are just doing their best in a tough situation. People are more willing to help dads because they’re seen as honestly struggling. As opposed to moms, who are seen as too lazy to handle their kids on their own.

We really need to stop with all these clichés of moms handling the mundane aspects of parenting and dads just jumping in for the fun stuff.

Of course, this isn’t really what happens (at least, not in healthy co-parenting relationships) but the media and society’s standards would most definitely have us believe that’s how it is. As the OP said, it’s insulting for both parents, so let’s just unlearn this tone-deaf way of thinking.

The bar is so incredibly low for fathers that literally just being physically present is enough. As much as it can be nice to not be constantly judged, aren’t dads a bit annoyed that people expect so little of them?

Meanwhile, the bar for mothers is impossibly high. They’re supposed to be a million different things to a dozen different people and fill all those roles perfectly. Oh, need to turn it “off” for a second, just to collect yourself? That’ll get you labeled as a bad mom!

No, dads aren’t “helping out” moms by taking care of the kids or the house. They’re their kids, they should have an equal part in raising them. It’s their house, that they live in too, it’s in their best interest to take care of it.

Of course, it’s great when your co-parent thanks you for doing your part but should they throw you a parade for going grocery shopping with the kids? Um, no.

Why would they assume it’s mom’s day off, rather than just figuring that it’s dad’s turn to go to the store? Anyone who has kids knows that parents don’t get a day off, regardless of whether they’re a mom or a dad.

Even if the OP was taking a couple of hours “off,” that’s undoubtedly time that she needed for her mental health, so she could be a great mom. Dad can handle a grocery store run with the kids, and may have even volunteered for it!

All parents need to learn every aspect of parenting. There is no “that’s mom’s job” or “that’s dad’s job,” especially because not all children have a mom and a dad.

Times have changed since our grandparents raised kids, and the world has come to realize that men can change diapers, women can be the breadwinners, and both parents should be in the delivery room. Now, all we need is for the average Karen and the neighborhood Chad, to catch up with the times.

We believe that all body types should be celebrated and there’s no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to physical appearance. That being said, the majority of society seems to disagree. Dad Bods are completely acceptable while Mom Bods isn’t even a popular term.

Mothers are pressured to “bounce back” to their pre-pregnancy weight, while dads who put on a few extra pounds are a whole type. Let’s just all agree that having a little more (or less) to love is perfectly acceptable for all parents.